TohoMaChiKu

bord..

2009-12-11T23:31:00.003-08:00

my blog sux.. haha for a multimedia student who can create his one website.. this blog sux. :) just wanted to say that.. ++ i barely update anymore.. so yaeh.. haha

bord..

2009-12-11T23:31:00.001-08:00

Emo blog..

2009-08-05T05:45:00.000-07:00

ok i think i can only write if i am emo.. haha.. if i am not emo i wont write..
neways people dont visit my blog anyways because i dont update that much.. well i am updating it now.. i have no idea why i am so emo these few days.. maybe i dont have that ''someone'' to talk to. i am dragging my self away from people now days. i dont know why.. i have a reason.. for every action there is a reason .. i just dont know what is the reason yet. haihz. only crazy people dont have reason to be emo or mad or sad or what ever emotion they are having right now. like me.. i am just bullshit. sad for no fucking reason? haha.. BODOH! =.='' <--(to me)

i wanna be happy. its just that when i see people have a gf i want to have it to, n i have no idea why i am more attracted to other people's gf.. that is one of the reason i keep my self away from people that is doubled. the single onces. hmm i dont knw laa. haha. stupid kan? sedih la hidup mcm ni.. nak jadik player but nak gf yg baik? hmmm.. mcm maner 2? just with i could just play with a girl like she's a toy then trow her aways like shes garbage and not feeling any guilt in side of me. <--( that is the down side of me!) i feel guilty to fast. say sry to much . need to fucking change man.! but i dont wanna be like that person.. i have a friend that is like that.. i SERIOUSLY dont wanna be like that. see all the girls he hurt. adoii! kenape la life so complicated ni!

haihz..

2009-07-20T11:10:00.000-07:00

ok there's this girl that like me. i think. but she's kinda going to fast on things and i like it slow and stedy at the 1st stage. but she remeinds me alot like my x gf. and she has a sister that has the same nick name as my ex. =.='' trying to forget her but she keeps on coming to me. how eh? xkan nak ckp owhh u remind me alot like my ex. so i dont wanna see you anymore. she's a nice girl. dont wanna hurt her because of a stupid reason. and i dont feel the love when i am around her., no butterflys and all. usually when i like this somoeone i would feel the things i said just now. then i know i really like that person. love and like is 2 different things.. for now i dont even like her as in like like .. how eh?

car was broke in yesterday

2009-06-18T22:44:00.000-07:00

yesterday, my sisters car kene broke in.. i went to my visit my granma at sjmc hospital. then i saw atique,ira ,bro and nico. so i just decided to talk to them laa. from 9pm to about 12.. i park at the back of sjmc because when i came there was no parking near sjmc or inside sjmc.. there's nothing in the car tho but i just feel sad.
talk to a person yesterday. she made me feel alil better. but then now i dont know.. maybe i just feel sad for no reason or maybe i just want some attention .. i aite an attention seeker. but sometimes at times like this i just want someone to just hang and all. haha.. i dont really tell people.. i aspect them to understand.. so if they dont layan me pun i dont blaim them. i just blaim my self.. i'v been feeling like this for olmost all my life.. so yeah.. this feeling will go away soon enuff i guess. but for now it sux.. with this feeling, i'v become some kinda antisocial guy. dont really talk to people and all. so if people that reads my blog if i dont layan you for just maybe a few week please understand.. i dont have a good past. might dont have a good future as well.

you know what??fuck the world. hahah.. so what if i dont have a good future.. ill work for it.! my lecturer is like a fung sui guy thinggy.. i dont really belive in that things but he say for now u might have a bad life and all. he knows, but in the future ull have a good life. made me feel abit better i guess. its like a a determination for me to work harder for my future and all.

this sem i might screw up a litle abit. i wont fail any subject.. but i just might not get good result.. that's it. next sem.. my target is to get 3.5 CGPA or above. i want to study overseas. i wanna live the life i always wanted.. so yeah..! hope i will get it. :) that's it i guess. :) haha..

ill update more soon enuff. :) will be going to pd tonight. :) ganna enjoy my ass off before i get back to the real world! hope ill feel alot better once i get back.. i need a vacation. haha.. everybody does!! so yeah.. that's it. :) peace yall!

This video is sick werh!

2009-06-12T21:50:00.000-07:00

there's this Korean video clip. made me feel kinda sad and almost cried. and i watch this stupid video over and over and over again.. it still get me sad. stupid Korean. always with they emotional movie dramas and video clip.. haihz.. but i still love to watch it. what to do.. hahha

i just feel that i have to share with u guys this video.. haha.. well to the people that haven seen it yet la. :)

haihz.

2009-06-09T00:26:00.000-07:00

dam la werh.. i think i say this one to many times. hmmm.. i dont know when ever i'm feelinf happy i always make people sad.. its a fucking curse i tell u.. dont really belive in it . but its happening to me alright!! now days feelinf fucking lazy to make friends anymore.. this fealing might just be for today je laa. but still.. it hurts my balls werh.. make me so fucking emo and moody when it hapends. the thing is i dont know what i did wrong.. if i knew then its a different thing jugak. ni i dont know what i did at all!? suddently the person i'm talking to is so quite!! what i did la werhhh!!. haihz.. if the person that read this is you or terasa i'm sry.. i'm truly am.

Things are looking great!

2009-06-06T21:24:00.000-07:00

by now people who read or act follow my blog thinks i am always emo beyond no reason sometimes. but now i'm ok. have good friends , join sc(student council) so in college i am always occupied with stuff to do and all. they make me happy. :) well sometimes when i feel like kene ignore to lain cerita la.they sometimes speak chinise all the time until i dont even know what's going on or why are they laughing. i do understand abit but not alot. so yeah...but that's a good thing in a way.. ^^v i get my own time to do things(fresh air) haha.. but other then that they are cool! i do have other friends beside the sc members. my college mate/class mates and all. they are cool. ++ band mates they are cool as well. well basically everyone has their own good and bad side right? so i cant really complain about stuff and all. because i have my own down side.. when i'm sad i am very anti sosial. even people that i know i dont even say hi and all. i just ignore them or i dont even look at them even if i see them. =.='' but now days i guess i'm ok i guess.

trying to stop smoking tho.. slowly cutting down. from malboro reds winston lights. hope in time ill stop.. i know not alot of people like smokers except smokers la. haha.. if posible i wanna find a partner that doesn't smoke so that i wont have the erge to smoke or what so ever.. haha..! right nw i am suprise my self.. usually i 1 box of 20s ill finish by 2-3 days. by the 3rd day ill buy a new box. right now box of 20s i still have like what? 8? and its the 4 day.

i love my friends very much if i'm close to them.. so sometimes people get me wrong when i'm too concern about that someone.. so people dont get me wrong ok? even guys. if i know you and if i always see you and talk to you in college if you dont show up or i dont see you for atleast 1 week ill just randomly call you. just to ask what's up. not beeing gay ar.. =.= pissed of at that someone for doing that to me last time. its been a long time so i kinda let it slip my mind. haha..

so people.. i am not an emo person you guys know.. i'm a new person. sometimes i feel that i lost my retandness because i am not emo anymore.. when i am not emo. i feel mature. =.= my retardness makes me feel that i'm a fun person. =.= arrhghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!! but nvm laa. i think people like mature people .. girls laa. they see me as a joker jee. =.= not as a boyfriends material. well some girls like it la. but most girls dont like it and some people dont like it. so i just ganna be a lil more mature then i use to. but to my old friends sry laa. the retardness stay~!! i dont care! haha.. new people as in i know when i stared college till now ill try to change abit laa. abitt jee. dont worry to much! hehe..

Words aren't that simple.

2009-06-05T23:01:00.001-07:00

how can i tell someone i like her with some simple words?
is it to early or maybe to late,

how can i express my selfs with just words,
when i cant say anything right when i see her,
its like i become stupid or some guy that i dont know.

how did i manage not to be myself?
its like she has this thing that pulls me down when i see her face,
or when she comes online ill be rushing to say hi.

how can i be sad when ever i see her eventhought we havent met at all?
she has this thing that no girl or women have or has,
i might fall for someone fast,
but i dont tell her i like her until i really know it.
is it stupid or foolish of me to do so?
or maybe its just me?

how can u like someone u dont even know?
she has many secrets i can tell,
she changes topic when ever we talk about something,
every time i say something flirty she's reply me slow or short,
is she shy or she doesn't like me?
or maybe its just to fast?

all good side has it bad side,
no one in this world is perfect,
god made us this way for a reason,
and i except it with all my heart.

so? can someone tell me how do you express your self with just words?
it can be done,
romoe did it.
shakespeare didnt it,
i bet alot of writers did it,
its their inspiration ,
or maybe they cant express it out loud?

i dont know if i like that someone now days,
like and love is very confusing,
love is like you wanna be with that person forever!
like is u like to be with that person or u just want to admirer her without telling her.
me? i admire alot of people!
or when ever i love that person, i dont dare to tell her if i do so,
maybe its because i dont know if i can make her happy?
this is my big problem in the love life,
i cant make decition,
i cant make decition on who i like? and who i wanna be with?
and i dont have the balls to say to someone i like her and i wanna be with her
i'm scared of hurting someone,
i felt the pain, and it does haunt me sometimes when i am a sleep or when i feel alone.
and it sux!

Words aren't that simple.

2009-06-05T23:01:00.000-07:00

why do i always fal for girls that dont have feelings for me.

2009-06-05T22:59:00.000-07:00

why do i always fall for girls that have no feelings toward me at all?
why cant i fall for someone that i like me?
is it to hard to fall for someone u like?
or the world is just trying to make life hard for you?

i cant help my self of who i like and who i dont like?
i dont really control it. my feeling do.
its like nothing is going right in my love life,
when i say nothing means nothing at all.

from last year till end of this year,
i keep on falling for the wrong person at the right time,
or the right person at the wrong time,
the feeling sux werh.

i dont know if anyone ever felt like this?
i dont know any guy/man ever felt like this?
when i see other people, ill get jelous and envy,
they can get their partner easily when i have to search for it,
this might be a good thing as well,
who know's when i finally get mine it would be superb!!
but the bad thing is nothing that is super great that i can brag about my self.

there are some good stuff happening to me,
its not all bad ya?
i still have good memories that i think about that makes me smile,
alot of bad memories that always bring me down.

This sux!

2009-05-05T06:08:00.000-07:00

this is what i felt today. =.=

2009-03-31T08:43:00.003-07:00

this is what i felt today. =.=

2009-03-31T08:43:00.001-07:00

One picture says it all.. its from my window room view,, hahah!!

day out with mai and saufi

2009-03-31T08:41:00.000-07:00

okok.. i know people do this ALOT!! but its my 1st time... bangge la. xD hahha..xD

i day out with sandy and mel in KL

2009-03-31T04:09:00.000-07:00

haha.. well sandy have to do her black and white assignment. and asu guys know i like to menyebuk!! hahha.. so i decided to join in since i like to take photos. its kinda cool. :) heeeee

wtf??

2009-03-20T08:04:00.001-07:00

The girl i like turn out to be one of the ''bitches'' i know. -.- haihz.. i tot she was different. wtf la werh.. why the fuck i cant choose someone nice? maybe i should just fuck her up and ciow. haihz.. not me. -.-'' wish i could. muahhaha!!

y do i say she is one of the bitches i know? because he got back with her exbf and ask me out just to get back to hes ex for breaking up with her? like wtf right? monther fucker!! go die laaa!! i cant belive i olmost learn her language to so that i could communicate better with her.. haihz.. luckily i got the sence before anything hapends like my previous case. haha.. good old times. NOTT! =.=

guess what?

2009-03-19T05:21:00.000-07:00

hahha.. its all a bummer. i can take i hint la if some one dun like me. :) i'm cool with it neways. no new target. muahahha!! single for awhile when maybe ill find someone. i dont know. i kinda like example if i like that person she that person pun like me. get it? lol hahha.. its hard to explain. hmmm.. i dont like to make someone like me then to me the relationship wont kinda last.. haihz.. nvm la dani.. u have no luck. muhahah..!

Things might just change?

2009-03-05T01:41:00.000-08:00

things might just change? i dont know when or when will it happen. but i think it will happen. hahha.. i just hope it does la. hahha. xD dear god. please make me happy and everyone else in this world happy. good people la. the bad can put aside. (i'm a good boy right? right?) hahhha.. dam. i dont know to. hahha. i think i am xD

hard this year?

2009-03-04T20:22:00.000-08:00

haha.. i dont know why but this year is getting harder and harder for me. i got my friends that i always wanted and they r great!, but i dont know. sometimes with i could get a partner to. but its hard for me to fall for someone. hahha.. when i say hard mean assignments work and life. hahha.. i dont know. been having some problem at home.. just want someone i could share this with. but its hard to open up now days, people will say i'm weak or something. i am not weak. just wanna let it out!? but its ok la. i move on alot since i was small. the fact it i nvr change . i keep trying to forget about my past but its not working at all. if i change i might be come a bad person/jerk. right now i think i am becoming one. ill try not to ! i promise my self already..

ME being happy is a curse?

2009-03-04T19:54:00.000-08:00

hey guy sry for not posting blog for quite some time.. just been very very busy lately. hmmmm.. thing post its kinda true of what is happening in my life. i cant be happy. when ever i am thinking happy or having happy thoughts ill get burn! hahha. y? dont ask me. maybe its part of life. i had someone in mine just a few moments ago, well she didnt turn out to be the person i thought he would. y? i dont know maybe i dont know her yet. but her reaction towards me trying to know her is bad, she thinks i want something more ? how is that happening when i am just smsing her? hmmm.. yeah maybe i was a little creepy. hahha. been looking at her alot didint have the guts to talk to her at 1st. haihz. i know i am kinda doing the bad thing. she as my friends ex. i didnt have any intention right now. just to get to know her? is that bad? i dont thing so. well. i think to much neways huh? hahha.. but u know what its ok. life's move on. and i am just moving on with my life right now. dont think ganna fall for anyone any time soon,. just chill and try to enjoy single life..
that its i guys for this post. :)

Cny Dinner then Party at cal hse+gambel

2009-01-31T22:20:00.001-08:00

haha finally we went to Cal cal hse at ss15. :) he is going to aus soon. T_T WHAT LA YOU!! y u wanna go. dont miss us here mer? ahahha! ceh.! we had fun. gammble talk talk. haha. the gamble part was HELL stressfull. hahah!! blackjack was ok. we didnt play poker =.=. the in-between was like WTF!! so many people lost money there. lucky i only lost 4bux, T_T . still money cal cal and sean lost quite alot. the winner of 1 and 2nd table was meebo and andrew. haihz, so lucky. T_T

i took a pic of sean pissing haha!! was like WTF!! i thought he was only joking about pissing out side of someone's hse. hahah!! sry dude. have to post this. neway no nudity right? haha. only sprinkle of water coming out of ur (something that rhyme with sick) hahha!!

here's some food that we ate on that day. it was at Telok Gong in klang. haha. was nice food tho. halal. :)

was nice la. wonder y drew keep making gay (lala) faces. hahaa.!!

haha. i have the people that came that day had fun. because i know i did. haha. that day was my 1st yam seng isit? sry i kinda forgot what that thinggy was called. haha. its where everyone take their chop stik and mix the food around. i kinda forgot what's inside. but i know there's ALOT of veggies. hahha!!

Cny Dinner then Party at cal hse+gambel

2009-01-31T22:20:00.000-08:00

Bukit congkak.

2009-01-28T03:29:00.000-08:00

that trip ended up great! haha.. but i think it could have gone better la. :)
ill update later ok? :)

last week i think i went to bukit congkak from a fun. well the major photography had to do their assignment i just sibuk2 jer. hehe.. well kinda had fun. ups and downs la basically but the ups are more.
here's some pictures. :)

sparks?

2009-01-14T05:51:00.000-08:00

how do people really know if their feeling is sparks or just monkey crushes? now days people dont really know what feeling are they feeling. its like when a guy meets a really hot cute girl, in fact any hot cute girl with hot body and all they think they have a crush on . they tend to think they like them for who they think she is. haha. i had that stupid thing so many freeking time. sad thought.
btw just dont truss that someone even thought u think u can truss that someone with your life. you just might get hurt some day. hahha. (that reflect 110% on me) hahah!!
SRY GUYS DIDNT UPDATE MA BLOG.! been sucking lately and the internet is really freeking slow these days. haha

Happy near all

2008-12-31T08:14:00.001-08:00

HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL!!

New years for me? and about me.

2008-12-31T07:37:00.000-08:00

As i expected i'm having my new years alone. lol.. well i'm kinda at starbux at the moment , its 11.42pm by my lap top watch. kinda bord here alone but its way better then home. just thinking about staying home alone made me emotional. haha. neways i'm at ss15 starbux. ordered a coffie and planing to stay here till new years . all around me are friends and couples .. i kinda felt regret that i didnt make any close friends that were close to me. the one that i can truss anyway. when i think back. i was like a loner when i was in high school i did olmost everything alone . and i stayed at home most of the time like a good boy. but i did some bad stuff la. like skip school and all. ahha.. that's not the point right now. i think i have quite alot of friends then. but what hapend now? what's going on with my life? i think i screw it a long time ago when i thought i was a fat kid that annoyed peopel alot .. i think i have a problem with my self that. *cepat terasa. i cant help thinking what other people think about me. its like when ever people look at me in a different way ill be like *ok he dont like me. maybe i should back off. then i dont talk to them anymore. but i change now. alot.! but the past is still the past. and it kinda brought back to the present .. right now. i use to keep every single little itsy bitsy thing to my self even though that thing would hurt me if i dont let it out.but i did learn to get it off my chest ..

most people dont know me for me. they know me by old dani. when i was in high school . and belive it or not most people judge me the 1st time they see me. i know. i heard people talking about me. as in heard with my own ears. they will be like this dani ar i think he is a player la. he always around girls and he can talk to girls easy la. girls olso talk to her easy. got hug hug here and there ..some times got kiss kiss. (friendly kiss saying hi) ;) .. when they dont even know me? i got met this girl that i went out with. her name will not be shown or tell to other. ok, we went out like a few time i think she likes me for me. after less then a month i thought i could get her to be my girl . but then she says ; dani, i rather be friends with you. ur a friendly guy and all. but i sometimes see you flirting with other girl and hug and talk to them most of the time. girls msg you sometimes. (its now 11.54 olmost new year) its hard for me to be with you when ur always around girls .. ill get jealous easily u care about everyone you know? what about me? can u give that attention to me.? then some other stuff and all . that's the last time we talk. we kinda been avoiding each other . this year has been quite suffering for me to some people who really know me know what i'm talking about. i think in this world less then 3. :) i though i would have great friends when i enter college. but its been worse and worse. (its 12.00 am now.) HAPPY NEW YEAR!!) ader la some ups. i have great friends there that i care about and all. but they dont beat friends that u know since high school and primary school ya know? (there a fireworks view here at starbux) hahh! ok la i think i wrote to much la. haha.. :) i think ill stop and and continue later. :) i hope i dont sound nagging or anything *but i think i do. if you dont wanna read it i dont mind. :) just dont judge it? hahh!

Girls? and life?

2008-12-30T10:54:00.000-08:00

okok girls are always insecure with their own body. some say to fat, some say to thin, some say they boobies to small, and some says that they pussy is saggy(okok i made that up) soooooo. y do you gals have to worry so much about it? those stuff doesnt make a girl? the heart does. if ur a nice girl with a personality, guy will go for you and it would last long, as in long relationship. if ur sexy, nice ass, big boobs , pretty face but personality like *may i say , SHIT then yeah. ALOT OF GUY will gi for you. but would it last long? or would they just say hey! then touch , play and go. THINK girl/woman are arcade ar?

guys these days are like that to be honest. cant truss anyone , not even ur closes fren that u have know so long that u truss with everything u have.. i think i learn that lesson the hard way. wont tell you the story because it might offend some people but i just wanna say that situation kinda change my life and how i look at people. its harder to know the truth of what people really think of you . when you know it i bet you cant take it!okok that is going out of topic. ahha..

well girls are the same as well. they are more bitchier by the year. cant really find anyone nice anymore that is still single. i know this because i'v been true alot of situation. its hard! every time i fall for that person shits hapends. its hurting and i get fed-up of liking anyone else. this year is kinda my worse year la. . hahah. or maybe i'm just *cerewet?
hahha. to pikky. haha.. i know i am not but i think i am? how to solve that eh? ahhaha. anyone?

Love

2008-12-29T22:56:00.000-08:00

I use to ask people what is love? no body really answer me. except one gal. she is the only one who answer my question on msn. hahha.. waited for a long time hahah!!

here's her post of it.

just got back,,

2008-12-27T04:23:00.003-08:00

omg.!! went to play bball from 3.40 to 7.50.! omg dah tired.. haha
atleast i'm abit better.. i think,. hahhaha!

The Moments

2008-12-25T04:21:00.000-08:00

still miss u guys. i dont know when is the next time we can meet. please tell me when if ur holidays. hahha. top pics khaleeda dont wanna take her pic. =.= shy girl. =.= and they dare call me white ass boy. @.@ racist =.= !!!!!!!

i hope this pics dont imbarest u guys to much!! hahahha..!
if it does pun to bad. hahha!

i was the camera man. haha. so most of my pics is not inside la.. and khaleeda. our pics mcm siket giler inside.. so yeah.. hahhaa.! but i enjoyed taking photos. hahah.!

the day fauzis family went back.

2008-12-25T03:05:00.001-08:00

okok the night before we played dota Lan game in my room. haha. yes i got a pc and a lap top in my room and can be LanEd. hehehhe.. so we played vs AI lol.. okok la.. so long no vs ai. ai dota the new version is way better then most of the players i played with laa. hahha.. okok out of topic. so we wanted to sleep early la that day. sudah plan nak sleep early. watch two movie then sleep.. fauzi and his gf was doing some ''talking'' ;) in msn that was talking so loooonggggggg!! so x jadik watch the 2nd movie.. owh yeah.. the 1st movie we watch was death race. hahha. the 1st time watching was the best jugak laa. hahha. after watching the 2nd movie we chat chat sekejap the internet went down.. sobz.. sad case laa. but local internet is still online. only internet cant go in.. only geeks understand i think.. hahha. so we played dota. the game lasted for 2 hours.. who knows ai was so good .. so we ended sleeping at olmost 4 i think.. fauzi was watching something and doing something. hehhe.. cant say laa. nanti kene mara. we would come all the way from singapore to malaysia and wack me.. hahha. so faham2 jer la.. kekkee..

the next day. i set my alarm at 10.am.. my father woke me up at 9.59 .. adehh sux laa. if only i got that minute it would be a nice day dah!! hahah we had breakfast that was toast with cheese .. yeah.. sedap.. yumm! then lunch i forgot wat we ate.. lol. today was a free and easy dah.. but we dont have the car so cant move around.. hahha. xpe xpe.. we got to sleep again!! yay!! sleeping is my new hobby i think. but cant laa. i am getting fat siaaaaaaaaaaa!! need to work out balik.. hahha.
at about 4.30 we went to syed ss19 and ate early dinner.. then went to sunway piramid to sent fauzi and family.. abit emotional. but still can handle my self... haihhh. my hse is so empty now.. sobz... nvr thought i could miss you guys that much laaa. i dono y pun.. maybe because we bonded well. and the past yearsss we dont really know each other that well. hope could see u guys soon la.. i dont know how soon. but soon. just need to tell me when is ur holidays and ill check my timetable when is my next holidays!! hahha..

MISSSSSSSSS UUUUUUUUUU GUYSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!

COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE BACCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!

shopping with fauzi. -,-

2008-12-25T02:59:00.000-08:00

okok hahha. yesterday that was wednesday 25dec. went shopping with fauzii at ou(one utama) it was fun.. i got only 1 t-shirt. sobzz.. the jaket i wanted was brown but they dont have my size that was M.. fauzi in the other hand got that jaket in black. i thought the prize was rm49.90 so i provoke fauzi to buy it. haha. when we saw the prize lag it was 99.90. he terus xnak beli... i was like alamakk.. just now say 49.90 now 99.90.. tengok2 it was becide it daaaaaa.. adehhh. so i decided to change the tag. haha. so fauzi got a casual wear jaket for half prize and a free undies. !! dam i only got a T-shirt that cost about rm15. hahhaa. then we walk walk around only.. nothing much that can do la.. hahha. i like to follow people shopping *girls laaa. hahhaha i dont really like to buy them. kekeke. but its ok. i got 1 nice t-shirt aite?

Singapore family came.!!

2008-12-23T03:14:00.002-08:00

hey.. dani here. haha duh!! this my blog. haven really been updated because i thought that i wouldn't even bother to make a blog. hhaha. just tot its a one time thing. hahha! but i dono. i just feel like writing. i had fun with ALL my cuzz! the 1st day they came. i thought that maybe it will be a lil awkward because we dont really meet up. only a few years once. just really got to know them last raya. =.= *am i crapping yet? i think not. okok cont! so the came at 10pm sharp! i was so blur. we were suppose to pick them up at the bus stop but we went a lil to far.! hahha. !! END UP WE WERE AT INFRONT OF GLORIA JEANS @!! HAHHA!! that was totally my bat la. hahha! we hang put at night . i still feel a lil awkward at 1st because i have no topic to talk about. but as most people know me i'm the type of guy that crap aloTT!!hahah! so i did. haha then we started to talk like normal people. cuz talk. girl talk what ever la. hhaha i do that alot kan? hahha so they reach our hse. my mom cook a very nice meal for them. i did help i think. hahah but i am a lazy boy. we slept at about 3-4 i think most of the night.! the next morning we woke up at 6 am. my cuz mom *fauzi mom was knocking at the door like crazy.. i tot i wanted to just keep quite and maybe she might go away or something. like i always did to my mom! hahha. *its bad i know. but i just wanted to sleep. :) hahha.. but she kept knoking for bout 5 mins straight. and there was no snoozee butten!! DAM MAN!! we woke up la. have to and was force to. kesian me. :(

we might have a fun day that day if wasnt for the STUPID KTM station at subang. delayed for about 1 fucking hours. i'm like WTFFF!! c'mon help me la. they come once in a blue moon. :( if we were 10 mins early we might catch the train that arrive when we arrive. hahah.!. to bad huh. shit hapends. but i felt guilty. kinda lost a talking mojo. but the work fuck it bring me up and i tryed my best to be my self again. we plan to go to sungai wang. the most of the cloth and stuff were cheep. but my cuz *fauzi, shef, leedah.. they didnt buy anything i was like. shit maybe i brought they at the wrong place. :( i was emo and scared for awile. but i did get my shoe. heheheh.! i'm a subang boy not a kl boy. i dont really know my way around kl that much and my father expect me to know kl like a kl people when my parents dont really let me go to KL that much.! but overall i think they had fun. okok back to the story. when we reach at sungai wang, we wanted to eat at pizza hut. i remember they was a pizza hut or a shakeys or something. so we went to sungai wangg to search for a pizza place. they WERE CLOSE>!! i think they went out of bussness or something. i was like shit again. and was emo. i know its know my fault but its my nature to feel guilty. i think its part of my moms side. haha! that day we as in me and my CUZZZZZZZZZZZZ from singapore really bonded .. especially during night time. we watch movie in my room. hahha. my room its like the BOMB baby,! 2 pc games loaded. :) HAHHA> ! so the cuzzez were in my room most of the time> kekeke> ..

okok the 3rd day they were here. we went to agrotect at ulu langat. its a very nice and romantic place to hang out. :) hahha. not really that fun place unless u got my cuzzezz! keke. scratch the 1st bonding part. this is the real place we really bonded.!! we got to know the real each other. fromm fauzi to shef, leedah , siti nor , abdul and farhat. we bonded. we were all gila. hahah but as most of my friends know. no body can challenge me when i am at my girl stage right? right? hahha! i wasn't the gila la. shit. maybe i am still shy. heheh. i dont really meet them and all. so its abit hard to be gila. but its ok. i am still gila. !! :) we played at the river with waterfall and log.. hahha was a crazy day. but my dad kinda bring me down sometimes. there always a mistake. :( but again i use the fuck it moto. haha. i dont wanna spoil other peoples mood because of me. i am a very emotional guy la. sry . hahha. we had so much fun that day!! was one of my best and memorable holidays with my cuzz. we spend 1 night there. at night me and shef were emo talking under the stars .. a deep talk. was nice. romantic and all. she talk i listen i talk she listen. :) who knew we are good listener.. it was nice. we talk for about 2 hours non stop and didnt even felt bord of each other... until our but hurts. hahha. kelaka la. if it wasn't for the but case it think we would have talk for longer hours. haha. the stars there for macnafic.!! the only star sign i saw was the Scorpio . we can ver get that kinda of stars in subang or int he city. :(

THe next day we woke up swam at the river again. haha. was super cold la. dam werh.. they were splashing water at me and all. haha. i enter late becase was emo again. buhuhu for me. hahaha. but i still ended up in the water haha. after noon we went to putrajaya masjid for a boat cruzz! i tot it would be borring and all becuase the 1st time i went was boriing maybe iwent with the wrong people. hahha. and maybe last time i wasn't as hyper as now. IT WAS FUCKING NICEE!!! nice view nice wind nice weather and nice people .. the sun set was megnafic !! think back all those time i was at putrajaya kinda made me emotional. hahha. the night part was fun. we went to rainforest to eat dinner. CUN LA> there's where my sister bonded with everyone.*dina is my sis. hahha. she was super cool with them. :) i think i am the more mature one kowt. i know wat is wrong and wat is right. so i am a no fun guy la. huhuhu.. but its ok. i know my limits. kekeke.

today la yang emotional part ni. haihzzzzzzz I WISH ON THE BRIGHTEST STAR THAT THEY WOULDN'T HAVE TO GO BACK TODAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! sobzz.. i was abit emo again la. but i pulled my self together. and became gila. hahah! at LAST ALL MY CUZ BOUGHT SOMETHINGGGGGGGG!!!! haha, the last day pulak tuu. piramid jugak the bomb!! we shop and all just us cuz. no adults are not allowed to follow. haha just like the rainforest dinner.! kekek.. the emotional part came when we say good bye. i was crying in the inside. because it try not so show my emotion to people and public. haha. if i do that it means i am really ganna have a mental break down and i kinda did =.='' ..

these isn't good good bye.

people come and go,
people say hi and good bye,
people will nvr leave without a proper good bye,
saying good bye is a word that people dont like to use,
saying good bye is emotional in a way,
saying good bye mean nvr to see again,
good bye is not in my dictonary,
good bye is not a word for me,
good bye is always unpleasant for me.

so please trow away the good byes i said and always say that we meet again some day some how somewhere.

This is a short version of my weekend with my cuz. what ever i left out. i'm sry yah!

Ill upload the pics some other day when i have the time to choose it la.. haha. but dont worry i will. :) all the good moments. hahah!

Singapore family came.!!

2008-12-23T03:14:00.001-08:00

When She Love Me.

2008-12-03T18:58:00.000-08:00

When somebody loved me
everything was beautiful
every hour we spent together
lives within my heart
And when she was sad
I was there to dry her tears
and when she was happy so was I
when she loved me

Through the summer and the fall
we had each other that was all
just she and I together
like it was meant to be
and when she was lonely
I was there to comfort her
and I knew that she loved me

So the years went by
I stayed the same
but she began to drift away
I was left alone
still I waited for the day
when she'd say
I will always love you

Lonely and forgotten
never thought she'd look my way
and she smiled at me
and held me
just like she used to do
like she loved me
when she loved me

When somebody loved me
everything was beautiful
every hour we spent together
lives within my heart

When she loved me...

The Hurt Of the lonely guy's life.

2008-12-03T18:56:00.000-08:00

A word of a lonely guy

Words of a lonely guy is seldom heard in tears or joy,
Life is like a colour that the lonely guy cant cry,
Is it hard to give this guy a chance in joy?
Or the world would rather see him cry.

This lonely guy has seen em all,
From struck of wisdom to bad of em all,
Its hard for him to react to this situation and its hard for him to be in this disputation.

What does the world have to offer him?
Friends? Love? Happiness? Or is it more heart baring action that he had seen enough of?

Its not blabbering I want to do,
But its hard for me to tell you,
That is hard enough for me here to put you guys in the lonely guy shoe.

You guys are happy!,
Have em all.!
Girls! Friends! Money and a lighting of happiness,
What does the lonely guy have?
Him? Him self? and him again?

Heart is like a flower,
To every storm and thunder ,
It drops by One by one until it dies ,
And thou would die in this world in tears
How could a man survive in tears?
Or how could a man live in tears?
How does love feel? Ask him!
He dare not to answer,
But when he did answer he meant it with all his heart.
But what does the world show him?
More and more shattered tears,
Is it his fault he is lonely as a wolf cries’,
But don’t see that in him,

All people see is a pretty face guy that is happy all the time,
When all he does is hide his tears every single freaking day of his life.!
What did he do to disserve this?
Did he kill someone?
Did he hurt someone so bad?
Or is this just karma?
What have he did to disserve this feeling of hurt and suffer?

I don’t know what to tell to the lonely man except to move on?
He did! Over and over again and over again!
He was burn down like an animal !
Is he that strong ?
Is he that strong to live this life?
One person ask him,
He said “I could if he had friends like you”.
The friend he trusted abandon him,
He has no rights to be hurt or feel bad,
Its just the rights of one person,
One life,
One heart,

The lonely man now realize that he is living in a cruel world he thought he has seen it all,
Guess he miss one of em when he trusted em.

The life of a lonely guy,
No players will know,
I bet he wish he was one,
But he dare not go to there,
He known’s better to play with hearts.
The hearts of one person its like its life,
He can try to build it up slowing when its crush!
But then its shattered its all lost.!
When does it shattered ?
Ask him? He don’t know.
Ask who? Ask ur self is it the right thing to do.

Now the lonely guy know that he did is wrong.
He just don’t realize it because his heart is in peaces was about to burse in the hell’s gate.
The friends he once knew could at least tell him it was wrong.
Not just keep to the side and wait it to be gone.
That hurts more, maybe he done nothing wrong?

All he can do now is wait and see ,
While other do their things,

Love,
What is love to the lonely guy,
He once said he dare not answer,
But he did feel it once ,
Cant sleep cant eat keep thinking about it,
When he wakes up that the first thing he think of,
Love,

But love to him hurts more then u know.
He felt love once when he started high school,
And once when he finish school,
The feeling of love is at the back him now,
When he knew that love hurts more,

When Love is lost?
When you lose it then you know it,
Keep thinking about it,
All the things he done and the partner done,
All the love that had,
All the feeling they had,
Its all going to be gone in time?

Why should we love?
Sometimes Love have to take chances,
Risk!
To feel it we have to work for it.
To feel it we have to try it.
Love is not sex and blow jobs,
Poke here poke there.
Love is what you feel,
Once you have it try not to let it go.

That was the 1st lonely guy mistake.
He let go of love as when he cant handle it,
He let go of love when things get to complicated,
He wanted more so called love then he already had.
That was the lonely guys mistake.
Love is about risking,
But if you risk to much it will hurt more then we know,

Lies in love,
When two person love each other,
They don’t lie to each other,
They tell the truth of things,
You can lie in love if it helps in the end.
Not hurt!
Lies is like a poison in the heart,
Even if you don’t say it you feel it.
Poisons will slowly effect the heart and become hurt,
Cure of poison?
Its to build up truss.
Right now the lonely guys heart has been poison,
I bet no one would bare to heal the lonely guys heart.
For what they say? He should deal with it him self!
He should ! but sometimes its hard for him to do things by him self.
He needs someone to be with him in these kind of situation.
But now who will?
All the lonely guys friends have got their own life.
No more high school , no more fun stuff, no more jokes
Life is now and life is hard.

Just hope the lonely man take it as a man and suck-it up.
As one black man told me(not raciest) *FUCK IT!
What ever it is! FUCK IT!
What ever people do to you! FUCK IT!
If there’s pussy in front of you! You better FUCK IT!
*this is his words. (hope you don’t read this) xD

So what is the lonely guy going to do now?
FUCK IT!
Common everone say it with him!

FUCK IT!

FUCK IT!

FUCK IT!

The lonely guys is trying to move on once again,
And not close him self in a cave full of darkness.

Hope he feels better after I wrote this as a his behalf.

*ps- don’t ask who.

Anonymous